"NODE ZERO" DEMOLISHED! Omniaveritas shot! (Version 3)

SFAW Grievance Committee Report

"When rumors reached us of Mr. Omniaveritas' death, we reacted with grave concern. He had, after all, been semiprofessionally published in INTERZONE, and could be broadly regarded as one of us, even though his name and address never showed in the Directory and we never got cent one of dues out of him. So we despatched a crack investigative team of myopic geeks and pudgy women in satin to clarify the situation. If foul play was discovered, we were perfectly prepared to threaten to sic Harlan's lawyer on any publisher involved.

"Our team travelled to the stated address of the CHEAT TRUTH headquarters, 908 West 12th Street in Austin. We were annoyed, and more than a little angry, to discover that 908 is the address of 'House Park Bar-B-Que,' a working-class Texas eatery that has been in continuous operation since 1943. It was full of rude mundanes in baseball hats and overalls who looked us over and laughed aloud.

"The SFAW have been made the butts of a calculated publicity stunt. We may now assure the membership that there is no such publication as 'CHEAT TRUTH' and definitely no such person as 'Omniaveritas.' There is no 'movement' of 'radical hard SF' writers threatening to 'reinvent science fiction from an eighties perspective.' It was only hype and everyone can relax.

"However, the joke is on the hoaxsters. Although there is no such thing as an actual cyperbunk 'ideology,' the term itself has become a viable subgeneric marketing category. Our sources in publishing assure us that the use of the term 'cyberbunk' in cover blurbs guarantees a modest, but solid sales increase, which may well be useful to younger, less established writers.

"A SFAW member in good standing has prepared a helpful beginners' manual, 'Cyperbunk: What It Means, How To Write It,' which will include a glossary of useful subgenre jargon, such as 'wetware,' 'retrofit,' 'download', and 'biohazard.' Other chapters will analyze typical cyperbunk plot structures, including tips on how to have the antihero lose the girl in the end without being too downbeat. Younger SFAW members should consult their agents as to whether they too can profit by joining this flashy, but flimsy bandwagon."