"NODE ZERO" DEMOLISHED! Omniaveritas shot!

(Austin, Texas November 1986) "Node Zero," the global info-nexus of the CHEAP TRUTH publishing empire, has been reduced to smoldering wreckage in a poorly-realized action-sequence right out of the worst tradition of macho adventure fiction.

A dead Hollywood stunt-dummy, with several burst squibs of chicken-blood attached to its head and torso, was discovered by hard-boiled investigators. The body has been identified as that of CHEAP TRUTH editor Vincent Omniaveritas.

Credit for the attack was immediately claimed in phone-calls to a fictional news service where guys wear snap-brim hats that say "press" and have teletypes that go clackaclackaclacka. We are reprinting the statements in their entirety.